A Man is Busted for Shoplifting an Adult Toy Called the "Super Sucker":
 
 
Here's the biggest problem with shoplifting an ADULT TOY with a HI-LARIOUSLY DIRTY NAME.  If you get busted, EVERYONE'S going to report on it . . . and your name on Google will now forever be associated with the toy you stole.
 
 
That's exactly what's happening to 19-year-old Alexander Marcelino Perez of Bradenton, Florida.
 
 
On Sunday, Alexander went to a Spencer's Gifts in Bradenton and asked for a job application.  And while he was in there, he shoplifted a sex toy called the SUPER SUCKER.
 
 
The Super Sucker is a flesh-textured cylinder that you put your junk into.  The manufacturer describes it as having a, quote, "real mouth sensation."  And it only costs $17.
 
 
Anyway, a security guard caught Alexander with the Super Sucker in his pocket.  He was arrested for misdemeanor theft. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
A Guy Stole a Brand New SUV . . . Then Traded it For Crack: 
 
 
We're not experts on crack, but we know one thing:  IT DON'T SMOKE ITSELF.  Here's more proof:         
 
 
50-year-old Carlos Sergio Valdes went to Henna Chevrolet in North Austin, Texas on Saturday and asked to test drive a 2013 Tahoe worth $40,000.  
 
 
But he drove off in the Tahoe before the dealership gave him permission . . . and two hours later, he called the police to report that the car had been STOLEN.  
 
 
Later in the day, police tracked down the stolen SUV and questioned the woman who was driving it.  She said that she didn't STEAL the car . . . she TRADED for it.
 
 
Apparently Sergio offered her the car in exchange for two rocks of crack.  He was arrested and charged with theft, and they may charge him with additional crimes.  There's no word on what happened to the woman who gave him the crack.   
 
 
 
 
 
 
Five Benefits of Sleeping Naked:
 
 
According to a recent study, about 10% of American sleep without any clothes on.  But apparently we should ALL be doing it.  Check out this list from "Cosmo" of five HUGE benefits of sleeping in the buff.
 
 
#1.)  It Airs Out Your Junk.  Which is good for men, but it's a bigger deal for women, because it helps prevent the growth of too much yeast and bacteria. 
 
 
#2.)  You Sleep Better When You're Naked.  Here's how one expert explained it.  Quote, "Your body temperature progressively declines as you sleep, which is a natural tendency of the body.  So sleeping with heavy pajamas and blankets can disrupt that."
 
 
Or in other words, sleeping in pajamas or using a lot of blankets can actually make you TOO warm at night, which makes you toss and turn and prevents you from getting enough R.E.M. sleep.
 
 
#3.)  You'll Look Younger.  Being too warm at night also messes with how your body releases certain anti-aging hormones.
 
 
When your temperature DROPS it's a good thing, because more hormones get released that help regenerate skin cells, and keep your hair looking healthy.
 
 
#4.)  You Might Have More Sex.  And no, not ACCIDENTALLY.  Skin-on-skin contact increases certain hormones like oxytocin, which is sometimes referred to as the "love hormone."
 
 
#5.)  You'll Lose Weight.  When you sleep through the night without tossing and turning, it gives your body a chance to lower the amount of cortisol you're getting, which is a stress hormone.
 
 
If you wake up with too MUCH cortisol in your system, it makes you hungrier, which means you're more likely to eat a big, unhealthy breakfast that you don't actually need.